


Coran's lament

by Ajalea



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (Be warned!), Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Coran deserved better, Follows S1-S8, Gen, Mentions of PTSD, S8 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-20 16:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17026143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ajalea/pseuds/Ajalea
Summary: *in Raymond Holt's voice*paaaaaaaaiinnnnI started writing this after the S8 finale because booooooiiiiii I had feelings ??? Coran deserved better 2k18, that's for sureThis whole fic is about Coran and how he deals with feelings that aren't shown on screen.I have something for every season, but particularly S8. It's all numbered, so if you haven't seen S8 yet, be careful when you reach #7 and hopefully, you'll be fine.





	Coran's lament

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to my proofreader, Fairy, because I wouldn't have written this fic without all the messages that we've shared about S8. You're great and I loved how that was a weekend well spent~ I do wish I could have finished this sooner, to keep it closer to S8 coming out, but unfortunately uni kept getting in the way...
> 
> Also I'm really sorry if anything about S8 is inaccurate. It's still too soon for me to rewatch that clusterfuck, but you can call me out on it if you'd like. 
> 
> Remember, I warned about spoilers, so I'm not responsible if I've written about something you maybe didn't know yet :)

1

When Coran was alone for the first time after waking up from a 10,000-year sleep, he bawled like a newborn. From the moment they found out Altea – and everyone that they knew with it – had been destroyed so long ago, Coran knew he had to be there for Allura, who would be hurting most.

The new Paladins were so young, still children in his eyes, and they had no idea of the disasters that felt like they happened yesterday.

Allura didn’t cry, she’d never cried easily, and this time was no exception. Coran knew that later, when this whole ordeal was over, only then she would allow herself to grieve and not a second sooner.

Coran, on the other hand, could not do that. At the very first possible moment, he excused himself from the Princess and the new Paladins. His feet carried him to an empty supply room, but when he stood there, he wished it wasn’t empty. He had his own emptiness inside of him that made him want to smash things against the walls hoping that it would make him feel better. Even without anything to throw around the room, he knew it wouldn’t help. This emptiness, this hole in his heart, would never be filled for the remainder of his days.

The Princess would now always be a princess and would never be the Queen of Altea. She would never be able to rule her planet because Zarkon had taken that future from her. For a tick he hated Alfor for his sacrifice, even though he knew that neither he or Allura would be alive if he hadn’t done what he did.

At first, the room was silent while Coran tried to convince himself that there was nothing he could have done. After a few doboshes, the waterworks finally started flowing, and with each tick, his sobs grew louder and louder.

He forced his grief to come out in one go, which hurt so badly he thought he would die. He thought of Allura and her burden, of her parents who were so strong and kind, and of all the Alteans he did and didn’t get to know. He thought of the stories that were forgotten in the blink of an eye, of flora and fauna now extinct.

All this because Zarkon wanted revenge.

Coran had known him before the meteor crashed on Daibazaal, so he knew Zarkon had been a great leader to his people. And that was exactly why Coran couldn’t forgive him for what he’d done.

Somewhere in his mind, he unconsciously made a note to write down as much as he knew about Altea, its customs and more importantly, its people. Then one day, Allura would have something to remember her people by. Coran was certain Allura would outlive him someday in the far future and he couldn’t stand that she had nothing to remember her home planet by, aside from a few small trinkets that he feared wouldn’t survive the test of time.

Keeping the Castle of Lions running would very probably be impossible for her to do alone, especially since the humans’ lifespans appeared to be shorter than his own. And he figured they would part ways once Zarkon was defeated anyway, and he wasn’t completely sure yet that he could trust them. They were strangers after all. Even amongst themselves they seemed to be strangers, so it was no surprise he had little hope in them for now. But Allura trusted them, and in the greatness they could – would – become, and thus he would try to do the same. For her.

Even in the quiet of this storage room, he whispered. “Alfor, my King, your last request ten thousand years ago was that I protect Allura and I promise you know that I will give my life for her if that’s what it takes. I won’t forget you, I will not allow myself to forget you and Altea. I swear on my heart and Popop Wimbelton’s creations that I’ll serve her for as long as I live.”

Somewhere Coran could hear Alfor laugh. They had never been this formal since Alfor detested it. But the situation called for it, Coran decided. Besides, Alfor was in no state to complain.

That thought brought a new flood of tears to his eyes. When his own thoughts became too much for him to bear, Coran stopped thinking. When his voice broke, he cried soundlessly. And finally, when his eyes were as empty as his heart, he stood from where he’d fallen to his knees. Coran blew his nose and dried most of the salty streaks on his cheeks with a ten millennia old handkerchief.

Coran checked the time, and although it was still set to the Altean capital, it was better than nothing. Two varga had passed since he had basically run from the control room. Two varga where Allura had been on her own. He chided himself, leaving her alone in a time of crisis was unacceptable. He was the oldest by many many years, so it was obvious that he felt responsible for them, like an uncle would for his nephews and niece.

Coran forced himself to leave his supply room. On his way back to Allura, he thought of the new Paladins and how different they seemed from the old ones, and yet also the same. It was a weird as a friendly klanmüirl and those were never friendly. Or maybe they were now. After all, it _had_ been 10,000 years.

He returned to find Allura in the exact place where he saw her last. She was still holding the portals open for the newlings to get their Lions.

“Ah, Coran, there you are.” Allura didn’t turn, but she must have heard him come in.

“Is there anything you need?” Coran didn’t want to admit he was afraid to look at Allura’s face, because he’d find Melenor and Alfor in her features and that hurt in his bones.

But apparently Allura didn’t get that mental note, because she turned her head to look at him. “No, I’m fine. I was just wondering where you’d disappeared off to.” She frowned when she took a better look at his face. “Is everything alright?”

Coran felt like hugging Allura, but since that would be very out of character and she would only ask more questions, he didn’t. “Everything is perfectly alright, thank you for asking. I simply wanted to check if some of the systems on the other side of the Castle were still working after so long and I found them to be quite dusty.”

Allura smiled like she knew. “I see. And how were these systems doing?”

“They were so dusty they need to be cleaned first before I can do a proper assessment,” Coran said quickly, knowing that Allura would see through his lie right away.

Instead, she let it go. “Can you open up a channel to the Paladins? I can’t hold these wormholes open much longer.”

“Of course, Princess.”

~~~

2

Coran didn’t know he could get this angry when he started yelling at Shiro how he had lost Allura to the Galra. Shiro had to understand Allura was all he had left, had to realize the vow he’d taken to protect her at all costs. The odds to get her back were slim at best and the odds that Zarkon would remain victorious over them was the most likely scenario. And yet Shiro promised they’d get her back. Over the course of the few weeks that they had been working together, the Paladins had become close friends to Allura and Coran knew they cared for her almost as much as he did. He even dared to think he trusted them to save the universe from the Galra, though that was a hopeful thought, one that he didn’t allow himself to think until he was certain. They had potential, yes, but did they also have it in them to defeat someone who was older than their entire human civilisation?

When Coran had calmed down, he apologised to Shiro. Allura was her own person, who could make her own decisions, and no one was able to tell her what she could or couldn’t do. She had that from Alfor. Sometimes she resembled him so much he had to look away for a few ticks. No one seemed to notice, and it was better that way. Less talking about feelings made it easier to ignore he had them too much.

Thankfully, Shiro understood Coran was just upset. He was a great diplomat, and always tried to find the best solution between all involved parties. That also meant Shiro wasn’t a fan of giving away his inner thoughts, but really none of them were.

After they had rescued Allura, and the two of them were stuck in the repeating wormhole, Coran’s consciousness stayed with him. For every time he turned younger, he could help himself and Allura less. He heard her words though and they warmed his heart. Even as a baby, as she talked to him, Coran heard what she was saying. Somewhere in the depths of his heart, something started to mend itself. He’d always known, but hearing Allura loved him as much as he loved her could carry him to victory if they weren’t in imminent danger that he couldn’t fix.

~~~

3

Shiro disappeared and Allura took up the role of leader of Voltron. It left all of them uneasy. Coran wished he could help, but in reality he felt like the support of Allura, who on her part was supporting Voltron. He sometimes helped Allura remember Altean traditions or told stories when she was feeling down, but aside from all of that, he felt helpless. Even as the oldest member, he was unable to fulfil the most important role in their companionship and he hated it every tick. If only he was able to do more for Allura, for the Paladins, then maybe he wouldn’t feel like such a failure.

During the darkest nights, and only then, when Allura made him rest for a few varga after staying awake for several quintants and he was alone in his bedchamber that his deepest fears came alive. The most prominent one was that, at some point, he wouldn’t be needed anymore. Pidge was learning at the same speed a weblum produced scaultrite and Hunk was quick and handy in being her second pair of hands. And brain actually too. They worked together like Alfor and Zarkon once had, only on completely different things. Coran also feared he was replaceable to a certain extent. Of course, nobody knew as much about Altean traditions as he did, and he still knew the Castle of Lions better than any of the Paladins, but that could change. Maybe he would one day be too old to take part in their battle and there was nothing he could do about it.

Every time Coran saw the Paladins risk their lives for the greater good, he died a little on the inside. Every single time, he wished he was the one to put himself in danger instead of these children. The humans only had something to do with this war because the Lions – or maybe Voltron (Coran didn’t understand how this worked) – deemed them necessary for this fight. Voltron, revered by some like a god, did pick people that were ready to grow in their role as saviours, but to Coran they were just children.

Hunk and Lance wanted to go home to their families, Pidge mostly wanted to find hers, and probably go home after that to reunite them with her mother. Keith was going to look for his Galran family once Zarkon was defeated. Now that he knew he could have a living family member, he would search the whole universe to find them. Coran hoped he would find who he was looking for, because it appeared he had sacrificed so much more than he made everyone think. Keith had never given the full story, of course, but Coran could take a good guess had happened after Shiro left for his mission to the moon Kerberos from Keith’s conversations with Shiro and Lance every now and then.

Quietly, so that no one would notice, Coran also wrote down their stories. And Shiro’s, when his name came up (he was mostly mentioned by Keith), although the other Paladins barely knew him, despite his hero status back on Earth. He wrote everything down so that the rest of the universe would one day know about the hardships they had gone through, the difficult choices they had to make and all the things they have sacrificed along the way.

Coran already called it his masterwork, something even more important than his book on Altea and its customs and traditions. Ultimately, nobody would care about that anymore. For all the planets in the present, Altea was just one of the many planets destroyed by the Galra. Everybody knew about Voltron, but barely anyone remembered a myth on how Voltron came into existence. Maybe that was for the better too, because the universe had forgotten – if they’d ever known – about the role Alfor and Voltron had played in this whole ordeal. No one seemed to know that Zarkon had once been the original Black Paladin. In a way, even he himself felt partly responsible for Zarkon destroying Altea and causing this gigantic conquest. But, the most important thing was that the Paladins weren’t to blame of the things the others had done, that was for sure.

~~~

4

For a while, they were complete again. Shiro found his way back to the Castle through his own connection to the Black Lion, even though Keith currently was its pilot. Everyone was extremely happy to have him back, but only then it dawned on Coran that even though Shiro was back, things would never go back to the way they had used to be.  

Keith had been the Black Paladin for months now, so they would have to figure out where Shiro fitted in this new scenario. He had passed out before the Black Lion carried him onto the Castle. They kept Shiro in a sleeping pod for a quintant so he could regain enough strength to continue to recover in his own room.

The Paladins mostly left him alone. Only Keith visited him between duties and was the one who was there when Shiro woke up. Keith basically brought messages back and forth between Shiro and the rest, because Shiro wasn’t ready yet to be confronted with the others. They understood and Shiro was thankful.

It was also Keith who told them what had happened to Shiro. It was hard to hear and to accept, and everyone gave each other some time to process it.

It became harder when he stepped into the control room with a positive attitude. He made it impossible for the others to ask any more questions and he presented no more information himself. After a few quintants of subtly trying, they let it go. It wasn’t forgotten as much as pushed to the background because they had more pressing matters at hand.

Pushing their feelings aside was one of their main coping mechanisms. Coran heard Pidge and Hunk joke once that they would all need a lifetime worth of therapy once they returned to Earth. Coran feared they weren’t joking. It was a future that became harder to ignore with every passing quintant.

Coran anxiously watched the dynamics being forced into different lines. With Shiro back, he had to consult with Keith about any decision they made and that slowed things down.

But then, Keith left to train with the Blade of Marmora and Shiro piloted the Black Lion again. Coran missed Keith; the boy was present in his own way and Coran sometimes missed the banter between Keith and Lance or Shiro.

Things were quieter now and that wasn’t always a good thing. The Paladins had to do something, not sit still like a breeding yalmor.

Coran’s solution to this problem was the Voltron Show. It was low-danger and it rallied planets to join the Voltron Coalition. Only things didn’t go according to plan. The Paladins weren’t exactly stars in the making and Coran had to work with what he had, which, truth be told, wasn’t much.

He stayed positive at first, and with the Unilu’s sale, Coran thought he could conquer the world, even without Voltron’s help. The brain worm’s influence didn’t feel different from Coran’s usual character, maybe a bit more extreme, so it didn’t come across as weird for him or the others that he was slowly losing his mind.

Luckily Bii-Boh-Bi did notice and saved Coran from having his brain eaten by a worm. And with that, Coran was finally able to regain his senses and warn Voltron that they weren’t acting in a show anymore but that they were in immediate danger.

It took Coran barely half a tick to know how much he had screwed up. With Voltron saving the universe, he felt useless, and that was why he’d taken such extreme measures that unfortunately compromised him.

Shiro was quick to reassure him, though. The shows had worked, and the Voltron Coalition was bigger than ever. Coran wasn’t sure how to feel about that. The brain worm had been a mistake, and so this part of the Coalition was based on that mistake.

When Coran inquired about the Paladin’s opinions, they all said the same things as Shiro. Allura even praised his genius, which he immediately rebuffed, since he’d had a little help.

He was mostly disgusted with himself for going that far, but a part of him was glad he was of help. It had to be enough.

~~~

5

It was rare for Coran to find someone of equal intelligence. He had to admit Pidge was actually smarter than him, and she was still so young he usually found he couldn’t match the speed of her thoughts. But her father, Sam, was a kindred spirit. Coran had never had a best friend – he’d dedicated his whole life to serving Alfor, and later Allura. Alfor had been extremely dear to him, yes, but they had never been able to ignore their standings, not even when they were alone.

Sam was quick to catch on when Coran explained something, and often had ideas of his own. He and Pidge, and Matt, were so alike that Coran sometimes confused them in his head.

Coran mentioned that to Sam once, who laughed, saying he felt honoured Coran thought he and his children were up to par with each other. According to Sam, Matt, and especially Pidge, were on a whole other level that he didn’t understand. It didn’t make him any less proud, and it made for some perfect parental gossiping between him and Coran.

Coran also believed that Sam was glad to be in the company of humans again. Every few varga, he would unconsciously say something in an alien language that couldn’t have a kind translation into a human language. Or any other language.

Sam also had nightmares, but asked Coran to keep quiet about it so that Pidge and Matt wouldn’t find out. His reasoning was that they were already worrying enough about their father and he didn’t want to add anything more to it.

Coran understood, and helped him to the best of his abilities. It didn’t take long for Hunk to find out, though Sam was too grateful for the midnight snacks to complain.

Pidge and Matt never found out, although they did mention that Sam was working too much, blaming his lack of sleep on stress and urgency and not PTSD.

With Sam’s approval, Coran pulled Shiro along in their what felt like a conspiracy. Even though Shiro was still dealing with his own traumas, he would often keep Sam company when he worked. They were good friends and it seemed to help them both.

When it was time for Sam to leave, both he and Shiro slept better at night. Coran could only hope it was enough for Sam to survive the journey to Earth.

Coran didn’t tell anyone, in case of bad luck, but he looked forward to work together again with Sam. He was already thinking of some improvements that could be made to the Castle, for which he needed specifically Sam’s help. Pidge, Hunk and Matt could help too, but this was going to be a job for the two of them. Just two space dads working together.

~~~

6

Coran hadn’t thought beforehand that losing a material thing would hurt this much. He had never been a materialist, never had much stuff to care about that really mattered, but losing the Castle of Lions was like losing a part of his own _being_.

At least the Castle been of good use to them. In fact, Coran’s grandfather would have been proud that the Castle had been used to save all the realities. That was no small feat.

It was his Hieronymus Wimbelton’s ship, who had designed and built it. It had been passed down to Coran, who had continued to treasure it. Until now.

No matter how old or outdated it had been, to Coran and Allura it was the very last memento they had of Altea, and neither of them were ready to accept its loss.

Again, Allura didn’t cry, she could take this loss as well. She just added it to the pile of other things she would mourn, on a day when they wouldn’t suffer losses no more.

Coran had to wipe away a few stray tears, but he was a bit comforted when Hunk retrieved the diamond of what had been the Castle of Lions doboshes prior.

The Castle may had lost its shape, but it wasn’t entirely gone yet and to Coran, that was better news than Lotor’s defeat. All his attention currently went out to the loss of the Castle and of course his worries about Shiro’s health.

Every varga he was awake – and he was awake a _lot_ of varga – he wondered what they had done to come to this. He asked it himself many times, but every time, he had no answer.

~~~

7

On the third night after Earth’s liberation, it rained.

Because it was a gentle clattering, Coran hadn’t noticed it until Lance appeared out of nowhere and pointed it out to him.

Lance took him outside, but not before they asked Allura if she wanted to come too. She declined, wanting to stay with Romelle to observe the new Altean. Lance shrugged it off, though Coran noticed he did look unhappy Allura didn’t want to come.

When outside, Coran overcompensated for Allura’s absence. He danced and laughed as the water droplets fell on his face. It was true that this was a whole new experience to Coran, and he was truly overjoyed, so he only had to add just a tiny bit more flair and drama to his act. It was nothing he couldn’t handle.

Lance seemed to enjoy watching Coran dance in the rain. He himself was sitting by the door, just covered from the rain. At first Coran didn’t understand why, until they’d been out for a while and all the fallen water was cooling his body to the point that he was chilled to the bone and visibly shaking.

Lance took him back inside to get him warmed up. After Coran had changed into some dry clothes, they found Veronica in the mess hall.

They sat with her after getting a hot chocolate, even though it was mid-summer. Veronica told Coran stories of her and Lance’s family from their childhood. At one point, she mentioned snow. Coran had a good understanding of snow, but not to the extent the siblings were talking about.

Veronica, at least, eased some of Lance’s worries, it appeared. Now that the Paladins were reunited with their families, it was good for them to spend time with the people they hadn’t seen in forever. Their families were grateful for the Paladins’ small freedom, because to them it had been an even longer forever.

Coran knew one of the reasons Allura wasn’t leaving the infirmary much was because she didn’t like seeing everyone being everyone reunited with their families when that had been taken from her. It was the sort of envy that didn’t even make her want the same thing, no it only hurt, like every sight was a Marmoran’s luxite blade through her heart. Coran tried his best to give her everything she needed, but he would never be able to replace her parents. Where Allura was hurt, Coran was hurt too.

Shiro was probably feeling the same way as Allura, only he was now working harder than ever before. Coran had heard from someone about Adam, and what had happened to him while Shiro was gone. Now Shiro was trying to prevent people from losing their loved ones to this godawful war.

When Shiro was forced to take a break at one point, and he sat with the Paladins – even Allura – Coran joked that all the hard work and stress were the reason Shiro’s hair turned white and that he looked like an old man now. Shiro laughed, but it earned Coran an unamused glare from Allura. It had been totally worth it though.

~~~

8

When Voltron returned from battle for the last time, there were no parades.

Something had happened, which was felt through the whole IGF Atlas. The few victory dances that were held throughout the Atlas were quickly shut down when Keith’s announcement that they had won sounded grim. He didn’t say any more before switching to a closed channel with Shiro and Coran.

“I’m sorry, Coran, we couldn’t save her.” Keith said before breaking down in sobs. Somewhere on the backchannel he could hear someone – Pidge maybe? – sniffle.

Even without the tone of Keith’s voice, Coran knew what Keith meant. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Coran had seen this coming. In that same back of his mind, he had also accepted Allura’s fate, but the rest of him broke down like a dying engine.

The heart that had been slowly recovering from the loss of Altea by spending time with Allura and the Paladins shattered to a billion pieces. Whereas the destruction of the Castle had felt like a bomb had exploded on the inside, he now only felt like death itself. He had no other word to describe it.

Somewhere near him, Iverson noticed a planet had showed up on their screens. It didn’t register. Instead, he stood frozen while Shiro laid a hand on his shoulder. His hand _made by Allura_. How ironic it was that the closest thing now to Coran was the triangular crystal from Allura’s diadem. Behind him was the diamond made from the Castle of Lions. So much Altea around him, yet no Allura. There had to be something wrong for it to be this way.

“Let’s meet them in the hangar,” Shiro suggested kindly.

People stared at them from all sides, but neither Coran or Shiro paid them any attention. These people didn’t know what was going on, but they would know soon.

The Lions returned to the ship in silence. They had disbanded, and Red and Black gently carried the Blue Lion onto the ship.

When the Paladins got out of their Lions, Coran and Shiro were already waiting for them. No one dared to look Coran in the eyes. Coran didn’t blame them, he knew he looked as broken as he felt.

Shiro stayed behind while Coran approached the group.

Finally, Lance faced him. “Coran, we… I…” His voice broke when he tried to continue.

The others gathered closely around him. Pidge and Hunk were crying, and Keith looked like a klanmüirl in headlights.

Lance flinched when Coran got too near, like he expected Coran to be angry. Instead, he took them in his arms as best as he could and embraced them.

“My dear Paladins, you’ve fought so bravely, and I am so, so very proud of you.” Coran felt tears on his cheeks, but he couldn’t tell whose tears they were. Everyone was crying and apologising to Coran, who stayed silent but cried with them.

An eternity later, they had ended up on the floor, each with a box of tissues Shiro had fetched, who was currently sitting next to Keith.

They let Keith tell what happened, though he was often interrupted by the others when he forgot something.

Coran listened closely, knowing how important Voltron’s battle was, how important those last moment with Allura were.

Eventually, when half a varga had passed, the Paladins were out of words. They fell silent with their tears still trickling down their faces.

Coran took a deep breath before he spoke. “Guys, and girl, I meant what I said. I _am_ extremely proud of you, and I know Allura is proud of you as well. I understand it currently seems like things will never get better, but this is not the end. Allura is still with us, she’ll always be with us, no matter what. I loved Allura as if she were my own daughter and I care for all of you the same way. I am saddened that Allura had to make this decision, but I am grateful that she found a way where you four would survive.” He tried to smile at Lance. “You were special to Allura, remember that every time you look in a mirror and see those Altean markings.”

Lance managed to return a shaky smile.

“I just can’t believe she’s gone,” Pidge said.

Coran put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it softly. “She’s not gone from this world. Or any other reality, so no matter where you look, you will find Allura there. I promise.”

That seemed to calm Pidge a bit.

“Couldn’t we have done something to save her?” Hunk blew his nose loudly, throwing his used tissues on the already pretty big pile.

“She said it herself, didn’t she? There was no other way.” Lance defended Allura, though there was no bite to his words.

“I know she did, but I just... have a really hard time believing that.”

“Allura did what she believed was necessary to save the people she loved most.”

Keith glanced from Shiro to Coran. “You should have been there, you both should have.”

He must have guessed that’s what maybe broke Coran’s heart most, because it was true. Coran _should_ have been there when Allura said her last goodbyes.

The blackest part of her soul resented Allura for her decision to sacrifice herself. He was supposed to protect her, not the other way around.

Shiro frowned. “I don’t think we would have been of much help. After all, Allura is,” his frowned deepened, “Allura _was_ a smart woman and she has always been able to assess the situation quickly, so if she thought there was no other way, then surely she made the right decision.”

Hunk and Pidge tennis balled between Coran and Shiro, fearing that Coran would get angry at Shiro’s words.

But Coran didn’t comment on them. He was angry, yes, and he was hurt, but he understood Shiro didn’t mean for his words to stab Coran through the heart. He made a decision, to do as Allura did once, when she’d woken up after her 10,000-year sleep, to postpone his grieving. Right now, the others needed him more than ever, and he vowed he would be there for them. He made a second vow, to Allura and Alfor, that he would support the Paladins for as long as they needed.

They sat there for Coran didn’t know how long. The world stood still around them, everything was silent save for the Paladins and Shiro, who were quietly talking amongst each other. Their tears had dried for they had none left.

Iverson brought them all back to the present. “Commander, I’m sorry to disturb you, but we need orders on what to do next.”

Keith turned to Shiro. “The planet. We think it’s Altea.”

Pidge nodded. “Voltron’s scanners picked up Altean signals from the planet. Coincidentally, another planet appeared on our radar that’s resembling the Galran home planet, Daibazaal.”

“How do you know it’s Daibazaal?” Shiro sounded concerned.

Pidge pulled up an eyebrow, unappreciative of Shiro’s distrust in her skills. “When he had allied with Lotor, I was able to copy a lot, if not most, of the information they had on Daibazaal. I would recognize it anywhere.”

Shiro also noticed Pidge’s prickliness. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m not really thinking straight at the moment.”

Hunk, the biggest hero among them, produced something that looked like a genuine smile. “Why don’t you go to the bridge, while Coran and I make you something nice and warm? I’m sure we could all need it.”

Everyone agreed, even Coran, and slowly most of them got up and left for the bridge, leaving Coran and Hunk behind.

When they were alone, Hunk’s positive attitude dimmed. “Are you alright, Coran? Do you want some time to yourself?”

Coran remembered the day he’d woken up, when he cried so hard, he feared the others on the other side of the Castle had been able to hear it too. He thought of Allura’s strength on that day and every day after, and he decided that he would be okay.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m here to help you.”

Hunk must have known Coran meant something deeper than just some baked goods, but he didn’t comment on it. Coran already loved him for that alone.

Together they baked Earth-based cookies, with a lot of chocolate. Hunk promised they would turn out delicious and indeed, they tasted like a piece of heaven.

News of Allura’s death had spread through the Atlas, like Coran had assumed it would. It didn’t make the stares less uncomfortable unfortunately.

The Paladins stayed by his side, never leaving him alone. They were acting strong, just like Coran, and together they survived the agony.

The planet in front of the Atlas did look a lot like the old Altea, Coran decided after a good look. It felt unreal being able to look at it again after so long, especially now that Allura wasn’t there anymore to witness it. No, Coran corrected himself, if she really sacrificed herself in the heart of the universes, she would see all. It was too painful to be happy about it.

Everyone had heard so many stories about Altea from Coran and Allura, and yet no one was looking forward to going down. Coran certainly wasn’t.

He was afraid of what – and who – he was going to find on the surface. Had the planet been in some sort of frozen state or had Allura carried it through the ages to the present? Or was this a new reality where Altea had never been destroyed 10,000 years ago? What is Allura had somehow reversed time and he’d find her there, along with Alfor and Melenor? Coran didn’t know which option was the best-case scenario and, if he were honest, every single one of those options broke his heart even more. There was no escaping that this was his and the Paladins’ reality now. The others (Shiro naturally not included) couldn’t understand the importance of what was in front of them.

He noticed Lance staring at the planet in front of him, looking worried. He walked up to him from behind, accidentally jumping him.

“Oh, Coran, it’s just you.” Lance sounded disappointed. Coran figured it would be a long time before Lance would stop expecting Allura to appear out of nowhere.

Coran wanted to make a joke, but from the look on Lance’s face he better shouldn’t. “I didn’t mean to jump you. What’s wrong?”

Lance’s gaze returned to Altea. “If that’s really Altea, and there are really Alteans down there, does that mean I belong there too? Are they now my people too?”

Coran had to think about that. “I suppose so, yes.” He had an amazing idea. Maybe his guide to Altean traditions and customs hadn’t been for nothing after all. “If you want, I could teach you about Altean traditions. You’ll fit right in!”

Lance gave him a weak smile, eyes watery. “Thank you. I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Take all the time you need, I’m not going anywhere.” And Coran would keep that promise, until he was the only one left to tell Voltron’s tale. But for now, there were other things he had to do.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any feelings, good or bad, please let me know! I'm dying to hear your opinions :D (Any feedback is greatly appreciated)
> 
> Also please come talk to me about Voltron in general or just S8! I'm orangelies on Tumblr and chouwa_oto on Twitter, and I'll promise in advance that I'm not going to bite, so feel free ;)
> 
> Anyway, happy holidays y'all!!!


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